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When Your Wife Wants A Divorce


If your wife has approached you about a divorce, you’re not alone. Women seek an end to marriage much more frequently than the other way around. For many men, the topic is a complete surprise; for others, the writing has been on the wall for some time. Regardless of whether you were blind sighted or relieved, you now need to create a plan.  Here’s some advice that may be helpful in the coming months:

  • Accept the reality: divorce is imminent. You and your wife need to talk it through to make sure you understand where she’s coming from– and then you need to hightail it to a local divorce attorney who can help you with next steps.
  • Don’t bother trying to talk her out of it. Despite an array of reasons to remain married—like for the kids or due to financial limitations—but be sensible.  More likely than not, she’s been contemplating this move for months or more.  If she finally got the pluck to mention it, it’s for real.  So buckle up.
  • Stay composed, stay kind. Forget trying to get even to assuage your bruised ego. If you can’t manage your feelings and behavior, you’ll do more harm than anything else, so let your attorney deal with the communications.
  • Put the best interests of the kids in front of mind. Let them know they’re loved and will be safe even though things will be changing. Protect them at all costs.
  • Think about the terms of the divorce you’d prefer but refrain from making any agreements without your attorney. There are generally issues that your attorney will have a better handle on such as the tax or retirement implications of certain moves, and many other issues.  So be sure to let your experienced divorce attorney help guide any big decisions.
  • If you have children and are hoping for physical custody, avoid moving out of the family home. You may be told—even ordered to get out.  But stay put to increase your chances of keeping the kids.
  • Don’t try to eliminate your income and get out of making support payments by quitting your job. You absolutely do not want to be the kind of man who scurries away from responsibilities—especially responsibilities to your children. Play it straight and be fair.
  • Don’t excoriate yourself for feeling forlorn or incensed. Divorce is a major blow and you’d be made of stone if you felt nothing.  Allow yourself time to roll around in your feelings, experience them fully, and find constructive outlets for them. Don’t be afraid to get help if the feelings  become overwhelming.
  • Don’t put your physical, social, mental, emotional or spiritual needs on the back burner. Find new ways to experience life and make positive steps forward.
  • Do put dating on the back burner. Get into a clear headspace before you complicate your divorce—and life in general!

Your Legal Advocate 

At The Law Office of Hasson D. Barnes, our experienced Baltimore family attorneys are prepared to advocate for you as you navigate a new road.  We are committed to seeking the best possible results for you in your divorce.  Schedule a confidential consultation in our office today.

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