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What Might Surprise You About Divorce


While you surely know someone who’s gone through a divorce—maybe you have yourself once upon a time—every divorce experience is different.  Chances are, if you’re contemplating divorce in the near future, there may be some curveballs you’re not expecting.  The experiences and emotions ahead will be subtle, excruciating, and everything in between.  Here are just some of the unexpected possibilities:

It’s a Business Transaction

 One of the surprises for some is the fact that a divorce is essentially a business transaction.  There are negotiations, you sign documents, and you  enter a new agreement as two single adults.  In some cases the principals in a divorce spend little to no time in the same room together.  It’s a formal process that bewilders many in its formality.

You May Feel Real Loss 

Besides losing the familiar structure, if not the family home itself in a divorce, it’s not uncommon for people to truly grieve the loss of a spouse who is no longer their own.  This can be true even for individuals who initiated the divorce and are 100 percent certain it’s what they want. Be prepared to experience grief as you flashback to memories of happier days. The sense of loss isn’t necessarily linear, either.  One day you may be down in the dumps, the next exhilarated at your newfound freedom—only to feel lonesome a day later.  It’s all a normal part of going through a major change in life.  If you find that the emotional rollercoaster is leading to problems with eating, sleep, or day-to-day living, don’t hesitate to get counseling to help.

You Might Sympathize with your Ex 

Even if you know divorce was the right move—maybe especially then—you may find yourself feeling sorry for your former spouse.  That’s because it’s difficult to see someone you’ve cared for suffering, and simply makes you a good human.

There Will be a Sense of Relief When it’s All Said and Done

 After months of what can be a strenuous legal process, once the last of the papers is signed and the divorce is final you may feel like nearly collapsing with exhaustion and relief.  Having the weight lifted from your shoulders will ultimately feel rejuvenating, and will give you the opportunity to truly embrace your new reality.

 You Could be Different as a Parent 

You’ll definitely engage with your children in new ways, whether you have full-, joint-, or limited-custody.  Being with your kids only some of the time often makes parents more contemplative about the role of parent, and actually pushes them to be better communicators, listeners, and overall parents.  Since the same is often true for both parents, it can enhance your relationships with both the kids and your ex.

The Representation You Need 

At The Law Office of Hasson D. Barnes, our experienced Baltimore divorce attorneys are prepared to assist with all of your divorce and family law needs.  Schedule a confidential consultation to discuss your circumstances today.

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