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The Science of a Peaceful Divorce


Peaceful divorce?  Believe it or not, it’s not impossible.  Recent studies have identified some of the triggers to emotional discord in the process of divorce.  As you navigate the way forward, you can make conscious decisions to avoid these pitfalls, improving the sense of calm for both you and your spouse throughout this typically contentious period.

Choosing Peace 

Every person going through a divorce has the potential to experience raw emotion at one time or another.  But one study indicates that actively choosing to engage in a peaceful process can work.  It is suggested that as you move forward, you make a pointed effort to address these key issues:

  1. Commencing the Divorce Process:  Although divorce has likely been on your mind for some time—the average contemplation period is about 18 months—the idea may not have occurred to your spouse yet.  The way you think about and approach the topic with him can make a big difference in how things flow from here on out.  Instead of viewing the divorce as a painful and difficult issue, try framing it as an opportunity for each of you to redefine yourselves and your relationship.  Discussing the split in terms of opportunity, rather than as challenges, can get you off on the right footing.
  2. Deal With the Rings Humanely:  Are you ready to toss your wedding ring?  Remember, it may be a cherished symbol of lost love to your spouse.  Instead of simply removing your ring and waiting for your spouse to notice, take a moment to discuss removing them.
  3. You Set the Script With Others:  As a team, you and your spouse should come up with the narrative you wish to use with friends and family.  Rather than vilifying one person in the relationship, you can create a peaceful space among those in your circle where both you and your soon-to-be ex are respected.
  4. Think Twice About Social Media:  The truth is, insensitive posts on social media account for roughly 10 percent of divorce battles.  Avoid the drama by being mindful of how your posts might affect your spouse.  Better yet—stay off of these sites all together for the time being.  If you simply cannot do without your social media sites, be kind, show respect and demonstrate caution as you consider the kinds of pictures and comments you share publicly.

Let Us Help

Every divorce comes with some degree of stress, but research indicates you have the ability to impact the levels of peace that transcends the process.  At The Law Office of Hasson D. Barnes, LLC, our Baltimore divorce attorneys can assist with your divorce and any array of challenges that may arise.  Contact our office for a confidential consultation today.




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