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How Do You Know When It’s Time To Give Up On Your Marriage?


Ask anyone who’s married, and nine out of ten people will tell you that sometimes marriage is ridiculously challenging! Without question, marriage has its ups and downs, and the downs can be tough.  Acknowledging as much, many couples endure these slumps, knowing that better times are around the corner.  But when is it just wishful thinking to believe that things are going to get better?

Time to Move On? 

There may be indications that what you are going through in your marriage is more than just a phase; it’s a shattered marriage.  If you’ve been struggling with difficult times and have wondered if it’s time to seriously consider divorce, these clues may help:

1-    You have an abusive spouse:  Abuse of any kind– financial, emotional, physical, mental, sexual—is a form of victimization, and you deserve better.  Research tells us that abuse will generally not go away without significant interventions, and may actually worsen over time. If domestic violence is plaguing your marriage now is the time to put yourself—and your kids—first.  That may mean divorce.

2-    Your partner is not as committed to the marriage as you are:  When you are consistently the one trying to figure out how to make things work  and offering up compromises, it can get old pretty fast. When communication is a dead-end because your spouse has no time/interest/energy to work things out, you may have to accept the fact that you can’t save a failing marriage on your own.  You may be better off starting anew alone if your partner isn’t going to join in the relationship rehabilitation efforts.

3-    You are open to other relationship possibilities: When you are clearly dissatisfied with your marriage but are not taking steps to improve it or to move on, you’re doing a disservice to yourself and to your spouse. If you are uninspired enough to be eyeballing other possibilities in terms of a new model, do everyone a favor and just get that divorce.

4-    Your spouse cannot be trusted:  While it’s true that everyone makes mistakes, maybe your spouse has made one too many. Sure, lots of couples are able to put those mistakes in the past, sometimes even growing stronger because of them thanks to hard work and time.  But if there is a repeated problem with infidelity, addiction, or violence, there are likely entrenched issues feeding those behaviors. Can things improve without major work and counseling? Maybe, but it will definitely be an uphill battle. If you both are not up for the work, it may be time to consider a fresh start.

5-    You keep getting opinions on your relationship from others:  What’s the problem? Do you want to leave your marriage, but need permission from friends and family first?  You know that no one else can tell you when the time is right.  Now is the time to rely on your own experiences and understanding about your marriage, and call a knowledgeable, local divorce attorney to get the ball rolling.

Once You’ve Decided 

When you’re ready, the dedicated Baltimore divorce attorneys at The Law Office of Hasson D. Barnes are prepared to work toward your goals as you progress through the divorce process.  To discuss your situation, schedule a confidential consultation in our office today.

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