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Happy New Year! Let’s Get Divorced


Every word, every gesture, every moment of the holidays with your spouse felt phony. You stuck it out, but it wasn’t easy, and you really can’t imagine much more. You’ve been pretty miserable for a long time, and, to tell the truth, you haven’t done much to contribute to the relationship yourself. So even though there was no, huge, culminating event that made leaving a necessity, you definitely know that your life could be better on the other side of this marriage.

How to Announce the Decision 

You’re clear about your goal: you want out!  But how can you spring this news on your spouse? Mediators provide these tips:

  • First off, be absolutely certain this is what you really want and you’re not just acting out of irritation or in response to the monotony, because other options may be a better fit for a bad mood.
  • Choose a private time and place—when the kids aren’t around, and when there’s time to discuss it.
  • Be ready for anything: anger, blubbering, or maybe even stoicism.
  • Be respectful and caring but unequivocal. There’s no point in bringing it up if you’re not willing to follow through.
  • Put yourself in your spouse’s shoes and think about how you’d feel if you were ambushed with this.

After That First Conversation 

After discussing your wishes with your spouse, the next steps are important:

  • Employ a good divorce attorney who will work to achieve your goals.
  • Deal with the reality and the accompanying feelings by spending some time alone and settling into what’s going on.
  • Come up with tentative living arrangements (if you’re leaving the family home) or financial arrangements (if you’re staying in the home but without your spouse’s income) for the coming weeks and months.
  • Make a skeleton outline of where you’d like to be a year from now and how you can get there.

Technical Matters 

After getting used to the idea of a split, prepare for the actual divorce. That will likely include:

  • Assembling all financial records;
  • Creating new schedules, financial plans, and so forth;
  • Discussing arrangements with the kids;
  • Determining what you want to keep and what you’re willing to give up in the divorce.

The Easiest Divorces 

If possible, work with your ex to move things along as quickly and smoothly as possible.  That means:

  • Treating your ex with respect at every turn;
  • Working toward having an uncontested, no-fault divorce;
  • Engaging a mediator to address sticky issues if necessary;
  • Developing a parenting plan that works for both parents and the kids;
  • Supporting your kids as they adjust to the divorce.

Working for You 

The dedicated Baltimore divorce attorneys at The Law Office of Hasson D. Barnes are committed to helping you get the best possible outcomes from your divorce.  Whether initiated by you or by your ex, your future is going to be very different.  Let us help you get it right.  Schedule a confidential consultation in our office today.

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