Be Prepared For A Rollercoaster If You’re Divorcing A Narcissist
If you are divorcing a narcissist, you already know that person’s characteristics, and are somewhat prepared for a bit of a challenge ahead. You know from experience that a narcissist is focused on winning, and with that comes loss for you. How can you mitigate the difficulties of divorce when you’re up against someone with so much energy poured into negativity?
Know the Narcissist Playbook
Because you’ve known this person for a while, you already know that they rely on several emotionally triggered beliefs and strategies:
- Because they have no empathy, everything is about them, and they simply cannot see beyond their own emotions and experience. That means they either don’t recognize or don’t care about the toll that their actions have on others. You and your children will likely pay the price for a feeling of having been wronged. That increases the pressure for you to handle things appropriately in your dealings with the narcissist.
- They love game-playing which means your divorce could be fraught with gaslighting, false accusations of wrongdoing, and anything else to drag out the divorce. It could mean delays and frustrations ahead.
- They live to control, and will likely attempt to use the courts to force you into prickly agreements impacting your time with the kids, financial issues, living arrangements, and more.
- They want to wear you down and work away at you by targeting your character, goals, stamina, and determination.
Preparing for Battle
It’s essential to go forward with your eyes wide open, and to maneuver resolutely. Start by giving your attorney a heads up as to what to expect up front so strategies to address the narcissist can be established and executed. Then, prepare for future interactions:
- When dealing with the narcissist, set firm boundaries and don’t budge on them. Never take calls at all hours of the night or during your work-day, and don’t get hauled into senseless quarrels. Vitally, don’t let your kids get trapped in the middle of disputes.
- Speak with meticulousness, composure, and compassion, regardless of the actions of the narcissist.
- Don’t allow your soon-to-be ex to = bait you. They want to raise your hackles; that’s how they win. Stay calm and gracious.
- Preserve copies of anything that might impact the divorce, from communications to financial records.
- Stay focused on the well-being of your children, behaving accordingly.
- Put your best foot forward, allowing the court to see you for exactly who you are, and let the narcissist unwind without your help.
Advocating for You
The accomplished Baltimore family attorneys at The Law Office of Hasson D. Barnes have dealt with narcissists before, and you can count on their candid approach as they forcefully confront the challenges you face. Move forward with confidence toward the best possible outcomes for you and your kids. Schedule a confidential consultation in our office to discuss your concerns today.