When couples go through severe stress due to tragedy, they often struggle to remain grounded and connected. It might be a natural disaster that destroys everything they own, having a child die in a horrible accident, or being diagnosed with a life-changing condition—these and other events may cause spouses to wrestle with feelings of depression, guilt, anger, and frustration. Ideally, partners would be compelled to pull together to help one another to get through these tragedies. But without question, there is nothing ideal about these kinds of tragedies.

Growing Apart 

When life becomes topsy-turvy, many find themselves feeling more distant than ever from their partners. Studies reveal that cataclysmic events do increase the probability of divorce for many couples. That’s because the cadence in the relationship suffers a significant change, and that is a very tough situation from which to recover: difficult, but not impossible.

Suggestions to Help 

All too often in these situations couples simply don’t know what to do with the lump of pain they’re holding in their hearts. Instead of casting blame and/or growing apart, here are some thoughts that might help couples get through catastrophic events as a team:

1. Let your partner know each day how you are doing and find out where they stand emotionally.
2. Allow difficult feelings to erupt by creating a space where you both can bear your souls without being judged. Listen openly.
3. Because you are both feeling sensitive and emotionally beat-up, you’re going to need some alone time to process what’s happened. Allow one another the space needed to process events.
4. While one partner may desire time doing nothing but watching television, the other may feel the need to spend hours working on physically demanding projects. Maybe one person craves normalcy and routine, while the other can’t imagine it.  These are all normal reactions and should be allowed to flourish guilt-free Respect one another’s needs.
5. Try to share what you’re feeling and what you need with your partner, and expect the same in return. Be frank in your discussions.
6. Remember that there are probably other family and friends who you can lean on—allow them to support you, too.
7. Do your best to address the necessities of life while also taking care of the need to be still. Don’t let yourselves get run down due to poor exercise, eating, and sleep habits. Pamper yourself with things that soothe, whether it’s taking long walks, listening to music, or immersing yourself in a hobby.
8. Find a support group with people who can relate to your experience.
9. Professional help is available to assist as you work through difficulties. Seek therapy.
10. Give yourselves the time you need to heal. Although it will never disappear from your memory and your heart, the pain will diminish over time. Be easy on yourself and your spouse as you maneuver the weeks and months ahead.

When Nothing Works 

If you’ve done everything you can and still believe there is no hope of saving your marriages, the compassionate, experienced Baltimore divorce attorneys at The Law Office of Hasson D. Barnes in Baltimore can help you achieve your goals in a divorce. Schedule a confidential consultation today.

Source:

abcnews.go.com/Health/life-events-lead-divorce/story?id=29960726